Filed Under (Chav Girls) by admin on
You’ll find Chavette’s circling around town centers with their buggies like wild boar on crutches scanning for their next victim. If they start picking on you the only advice I have is to run, or stay there and take it like a man.
If you fight back against the Chavette and hurt her, not only will you be considered a woman beater, she’ll tell her boyfriend and all of her brothers about it and you’ll be on the run for the rest of your life.
Chavette beatings are one of the most vicious forms of punishment you can endure. She’ll pound you until most of your bones are broken with either her umbrella or her high-heels. To cap off the attack she’ll invariably urinate all over you in public just to treble your humiliation.
Scared? You should be. These girls are brutal!
Filed Under (Chav Girls) by admin on
Falling in love with a chav girl will signal the end to your life. You will have to learn to get on with her awful family, including her over protective brothers who’ll often try to attack you with samurai swords or rolling pins as some sort of rite of passage into the family circle.
You will have to entertain her mouthy, slutty friends who’ll be continually pressuring you into having sex with them, just so that they can tell your girlfriend and schedule another appointment for the Jeremy Kyle show.
If you have non-Chav friends, they will be too disgraced to hang around with you anymore so you can say goodbye to your old haunts forever. It’s time to get used to living in Wetherspoons mate, because that’s probably where you’ll have your wedding.
Filed Under (Chav Girls) by admin on
Well the only thing you can be certain about is that you’ll get her pregnant. Even if you’re infertile. Chav girls can do the impossible when it comes to getting ‘preggers’. Modern science does not yet understand how this works.
It could well be due to the fact that most Chav girls are actually hermaphrodites and use their spare retractable cock (which is normally sellotaped to the inner thigh side of their leggings) to fertilize themselves if necessary.
Anyway if it’s your first date, don’t be taking her to a fancy restaurant. She’ll think you’re taking the piss. The best option is to just go to KFC and try to intimidate the kitchen staff into giving you free food. If you have to pay for your dinner then you won’t impress her at all.
She’ll be looking for a man who has the balls to shoplift in broad daylight.
Next, you might want to take her to Argos just to showcase your shoplifting prowess. It should be your mission to smuggle out a corner group sofa, a kitchen table and a beside lamp without being detected by security.
If you get caught, then you can consider the relationship over…
Filed Under (Chav Girls) by admin on
Well since they are always pregnant, their hormones are kinda messed up permanently. As well as this they have to deal with the antics of the male chav who will seemingly do anything to make her life hell.
Male chavs are renowned for stealing and selling anything in order to support their monstrous drug habits. It’s not uncommon for them to pawn the TV, microwave, fridge or even close relatives if it means they can puff in their magic dragons.
Another reason why Chav Girls may well be so pissed off all the time is because of their hair scrunchies. Have you seen how tight those things are? Jesus! It’s a wonder any blood can get to their head at all! If I had to wear one of those all the time I’d suffer from non-stop migraines and I’d be ready to kick the next asshole’s head in who tried to pawn my microwave.
