Filed Under (Chav People) by admin on
The hate towards Chavs in English society is extraordinary and it all stems from one thing, jealousy over teeth. As you might already know the English generally have God awful teeth. Now the Chavs are no exception, however their teeth are in nowhere near as bad a state as the rest of the country.
For some unknown medical reason Chavs produce an ungodly amount of saliva, which is why they have to spit so regularly. This excessive saliva production is thought to be the main reason why Chavs have better teeth than the rest of the population since the saliva neutralizes the acid produced by the bacteria in the mouth.
Whereas ordinary English people have to brush their teeth twice a day to stop them falling apart like wet chewing gum chiclets, Chavs can escape for months without brushing their teeth without enduring noticeable tooth decay.
Filed Under (Chav People) by admin on
If you’re thinking about buying a Chav a mobile phone for Christmas, then it’s best to buy one that’s extremely inexpensive and robust as the chances are that they’ll smash it up in a drunken stupor within a few hours.
My Chav mate Billy got an iPhone for his birthday a few weeks back and it took him 3 days to destroy the fucking thing. The idiot left in the microwave along with a bowl of Supernoodles!
When he seen his prized posession whirling around with the Noodles he just dropped to the ground with his head in his hands and began weeping like a little girl. He didn’t even think about going over to the microwave to switch it off. Before he knew it the bastarding thing had exploded into tiny pieces!
The best phone to get a Chav is most likely the Nokia 5210 which retails for around £25 in Argos and is virtually indestructible. Unless of course the Chav tries to stick it up his or her back passage. Then not only will they break the phone but they’ll void the warranty.
Maybe you should get them Buckfast for Christmas instead. It’s the safest option, trust me.
Filed Under (Chav People) by admin on
If you’ve recently got into a relationship with a Chav then you’ll have realized the errors of your ways almost instantly.
No matter how hard you try to domesticate the Chav it will not work. If you buy him some respectable clothing, he will either sell it or flush it down the toilet.
If you tell him to stop messing around with his friends then he’ll just hang around with them even more than normal to piss you off.
If you threaten to leave him then the chances are he’ll either try to kick your head in or just go and sleep with any number of his ex girlfriends.
If you really want to make the relationship work it’s best to ignore his negative traits and get on with the relationship without complaining. Trust me, it’s much easier this way.
