Chav Speak

Because everyone loves the Chavs!

One day I was walking home from the train – past the green where all the Chavs played football – minding my own business when I felt a huge thud on my head. One of the chavs had just kicked their football right at me and had hit their target square on.

Bemused by this I told the perpetrator to ‘Go fuck himself’. In his infinite wisdom the Chav replied ‘I would but I’m not gay’.

Since when was the act of making love to oneself homosexual? I was under the illusion that masturbating was as straight as shitting and leaving toilet the seat up.

Anyway I think this just goes to show that all male Chavs constantly have gay thoughts on their mind. The only reason why they are anti-gay is because they themselves are barely containing their own homosexual urges.

I just wish they had the guts to come out of the closet and be openly gay like the Emos!