Chavs don’t like fighting. In fact it’s very rarely that a Chav will come to blows with another human. Most of their aggression is channeled into posturing i.e. trying to appear tough but secretly praying for the other party to back down before it gets nasty.
You might have thought that you once seen Chavs fighting in the street but if you’d looked closer you’d have realized that this was not the case!
You see, male chavs love nothing more than to bang each other as regularly as they can. If this happens in the street in broad daylight, all the better.
In fact most gay male Chavs spend their days in the toilets in Wetherspoons, cottaging for other Burberry donning sods to have bum fun with. If you live in a council estate, are male and entirely straight, my advice to you is to wedge a cork as far up your ass as possible just to prevent a Charver mistaking you for a comrade and doing you up the wrong ‘un.
That would be most embarrassing.
The answer to this is quite simple. Chavs are constantly off their faces, therefore they do not possess the ability to rationally assess danger in any given situation. They believe that they can win any fight, even if they’re being challenged by someone who is twice as tall as them and built like fuck.
Occasionally a Chav will become sober. This will cause much disorientation as they’ll quickly realize that they are not invincible and that someone will likely burst through the door at any moment to stomp on their head until it’s as flat as the cushion their fat mam farts on whilst watching QVC.
It will then be up to the Chav to procure as many intoxicants as possible in order to end the sober spell. Protected periods of sobriety can cause a Chav’s brain to totally shat itself, leading to them being shelved away at the local mental institution without a moments thought.
If you’ve ever lived on a council estate, you’ll understand how annoying it is to have Chavs continually running in and out of your garden whilst you’re trying to relax in your home.
Unfortunately the police are usually unwilling to do anything about this until the Chavs finally smash your front room window and when this happens the culprit will escape with a caution.
The only way to deter Chavs from playing football outside your home is to sit bollock naked in your garden on a stripey deckchair, wearing a Racoon hat and calmly sip Vimto from a tall tumbler.
Everytime a chav passes your home, be sure to raise your glass to him and whisper ”right mate’ in a sinister tone. Eventually they will get the message and you’ll never have to deal with the rascals ever again!
I seen a pair of chavs fighting the other day and it was quite a sight to behold. Firstly, I couldn’t understand what the hell they were fighting about. They just started shouting ‘you STARTING!?!?’ back and forth at one another. Before long they had begun shoving one another, with each push becoming increasingly more violent.
Then the fat chav fell to the ground and the other one basically clambered on top of him like a dog on heat and started rolling about on him. I honestly thought they were about to start to make gay man love which would have been quite hysterical considering most chavs are homophobic idiots.
I think most of them are secretly longing for a piece of the man meat to be honest!
