Chav Speak

Because everyone loves the Chavs!

Since most, if not all Chavs are benefits paying for Christmas can be quite a chore indeed. This is why many of them resort to buying items on Hire Purchase from catalogues like Freemans, where they’ll be forced to pay £2.49 a week for an Xbox 360 for the next 36 years.

Other Chavs take the less expensive option of stealing goods from their relatives. A common Chav practice is to call around at their mothers house and to slip into the kitchen with a Tesco Bag For Life whilst she’s up at the toilet and begin raiding the fridge for anything that’s barely edible.

These same people regularly pawn their beloved’s prized possessions in order to afford gifts for their own family. In theory this never works as by the time they’ve pawned the item, they are already on their way to Wetherspoon’s to spend all of the money at Wetherspoon’s and the bookies.

So in short, Chavs find it extremely difficult to survive at Christmas. If you see one in the street this year you can help one by throwing some coins at them.