Chav Speak

Because everyone loves the Chavs!

The hate towards Chavs in English society is extraordinary and it all stems from one thing, jealousy over teeth. As you might already know the English generally have God awful teeth. Now the Chavs are no exception, however their teeth are in nowhere near as bad a state as the rest of the country.

For some unknown medical reason Chavs produce an ungodly amount of saliva, which is why they have to spit so regularly. This excessive saliva production is thought to be the main reason why Chavs have better teeth than the rest of the population since the saliva neutralizes the acid produced by the bacteria in the mouth.

Whereas ordinary English people have to brush their teeth twice a day to stop them falling apart like wet chewing gum chiclets, Chavs can escape for months without brushing their teeth without enduring noticeable tooth decay.